I came across this article today about ten things that should be made illegal, and I thought I would come up with my own list.
1) couples on social networking sites neglecting the power to text or call their partners and instead bombarding the homepage with sickening love messages twelve days into their relationship. Having said this, there is a kind of guilty pleasure when their status switches to “single” five hours later.
2) queuing to get into bars. Generally, when you are going out for the night you are wearing less clothes than you would be in the day. Nobody wants to see their freshly styled hair slowly turn into an uncontrollable Afro as it rains over the long line of people desperate for a jägerbomb.
3) glee. Possibly the most irritating programme in the whole entire world. Just hearing the sound of it in the background makes me despair for humanity.
4) cheesy crisps. The smell of which makes me instantly gag. I once had donut that somehow tasted like a cheesy dorito. Easily the worst moment of my life.
5) painted on eyebrows. This new craze is horrendous, no other way to describe it. There is nothing attractive about 3 inch thick eyebrows that are not the right colour.
6) any activity that involves being mobile before 9am. I cannot understand how anybody would enjoy breaking this rule.
7) continuously talking exclusively about oneself/ thinking oneself is greater than all of humanity put together. People who are so wrapped up in themselves that they cannot see beyond their own nose should be made illegal. An overactive ego is the ugliest trait.
8 ) bills etc. Nothing more horrible than car tax time or sky bill time. Money that could be spent on a nice new outfit.
9) noisy neighbours. No matter how loud you turn up the television you still can’t drown them out.
10) spelling mistakes. Incorrect grammar is often very unnecessary. That is why school is legal. “Writin lyk dis” is not cool.
I could go on forever, but unfortunately I’m not the prime minister!